Every year I’ve picked New Year resolutions and every year I have failed to keep them. I’ve tried every “strategy” under the sun and nothing has ever made them stick.

Changing my routine is difficult for me. Trying new things is difficult for me. And setting one specific day to turn my entire life around gives me anxiety attacks that require medication.

So this year I decided there was no way I was going to set myself up for another failure. No New Year Resolutions! I guess in a way that could be considered a resolution in itself but…oh well.

Then sometime during December I came across a blog that really opened my eyes. 100 Goals written by Stephen is a blog about a guy who is living his life directed by 100 goals that he wants to accomplish and the financial moves he has to make to do it. The blog was interesting enough but it was really the list of 100 goals that fired me up. And turned on a 100-watt light bulb in my head.

So I wrote my own list of 100 goals and created a Squidoo lens for them. It was harder than I thought. After about 85, I was scraping the barrel of things I want to do. Of course since then I have stumbled across a couple of new ones that I hadn’t thought of.

Some of the goals are pretty simple, i.e. milk a cow, while others are a bit more lofty, i.e earn my Master’s Degree. But all of them are things that I would like to do and think I can realistically accomplish….IF.

IF I lose the weight that I want to lose and work towards being physically fit.

IF I get my finances in order and dig myself out of debt.

IF I work towards increasing my income so that I can put money towards completing these goals.

So there are the things I normally stick on a New Year resolution list with no real motivation to stick to it. But with the goals behind it I’m working towards something so very specific that there isn’t wiggle room for excuses.

One point I want to make. This is NOT a bucket list. I have nothing against bucket lists and I thought the movie was pretty good but I have no intention of kicking anything anytime in the near or almost near future. In fact, if anything, this is an Avoiding the Bucket List since many of the goals require me to make positive changes that will surely increase my lifespan.

Also I plan on this being only the first of a couple (at least) of 100 Goals lists.

If you are feeling a little lost and unfocused, try choosing 100 goals. Put every super and silly thing you’ve ever wanted to do. My inspiration has “Hitchhike” on his list and I have “Dance in the nude” on mine. These goals don’t have to change the world – they are only meant to change your life. For the better.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. — Oscar Wilde

 A couple of weeks ago I was talking to my daughter who is in Kindergarten. She was talking about two little classmates who didn’t like her and wouldn’t let her be in their “club”. When I asked her why she couldn’t be in the club she said it was because she wasn’t wearing pink like the other little girls were.

My daughter didn’t really care. Kids get over these things quickly and since she has plenty of other friends in and out of the classroom, two girls don’t make much of a dent in her social life.

My oldest, who is now a junior in high school, has a similiar way of looking at things. Looking back he always has and I am proud that he doesn’t feel like he has to wear certain clothing, listen to certain music or do any other “certain” things to be part of the crowd.

I’m sort of the oddball in my family. I’m the baby (by almost a decade) and have always had a different way of looking at things and different interests than my mother and sisters. This led to a lot of insecurity on my part and a desperate desire to “measure up” in the eyes of my sister and mother who have very specific ideas of what a wife and mother should be like. Now don’t get me wrong, they aren’t openly critical of me. They always tell me not to worry about what my house looks like or what I do or don’t do in my life.

It’s all inside me. And starting this year I’ve decided I’m sick of it.

I am going to set my own standards, live by them and not worry about hiding who I really am. I can see that it has caused a lot of my social anxiety issues and I’m not going to take it anymore. I am who I am. And the funny thing is that, even though I’m not the “perfect” wife, mother, and woman, there are plenty of people who love me and think I’m great. Time for me to start doing that too.

 So a couple of weeks ago as I was picking my daughter up from school I was standing and talking with one of the other moms. My daughter ran out of school and asked if the other mom’s little girl could come over and play. I responded in a lighthearted way, “Not today Honey. You have to give me a couple of days notice to clean up before having a playdate.” In the past I would never had dared say something like that – even though it is true. To my surprise the other mom said the same thing and complimented me on being comfortable enough to admit it!!

And just think about it for a minute. Don’t you admire most the people who are real and true to themselves? People who don’t waste their time worrying about what other people will think or say about them? I know I do.

So be brave enough to just be yourself. There will be people who like you and those who don’t. The ones who don’t, don’t matter.

Some resources for Being Yourself:

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Yourself

 http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200804/dare-be-yourself

http://www.urbanmonk.net/318/the-power-of-being-yourself/

Howdy Stranger!

I’ve been gone a long time. 2009 was probably the worst year for my family that I can remember; financially, medically, emotionally, socially, everything.

But now I have decided to start blogging again. I’ve spent much of my time off thinking about the way I conduct my business - and my life – and the changes I want to and need to make. I thought 2010 would be a great chance for a clean slate. A new year, a new decade and almost endless possiblities (unless you believe the world is going to end in two years)

And then on January 2nd, 2010 my sister passed away. It was both expected and a shock if that makes any sense. To let you know this is the first time in my life I have lost anyone really close to my heart and there is nothing to describe the experience. First I couldn’t believe it – and still can’t to some degree. I’m angry about everything her life wasn’t and now will never be and sad about everything the world lost when she left it.

Finally I feel like I can carry her in my heart and honor her with the life I live and the choices I make. I still cry when I think of her but I also smile sometimes too. She was truly a beautiful person.

So here I am, ready to start the new year, ready to make some changes and face some fears. Most importantly I am ready to be more myself instead of what I think others want me to be.

What does this mean for Living My Big Dream? Well, first and foremost, I don’t think I have the same Big Dream that I once had. Financial freedom still holds great appeal but I’m not sure I’m willing to sacrifice everything I would have to in order to achieve it. I’m not sure what my current Big Dream is but I will let you know when I figure it out.

Second, I’m dropping the predetermined monthly subjects  in order to make this more a personal account of what I deal with (and I’m sure many of you deal with) on a daily basis as a work-at-home parent with a busy household, personal demons to fight, bills to pay (so many bills!!)  and social obligations to meet.

So many things affect our lives and none of them are in a vaccum. When money is low, health suffers; when schedules are overbooked, the household suffers; and when your daughter is invited to three birthday parties in one month, money suffers. So that is what I am going to write about from now on.

Some days the posts will be informative and in depth, other days they will be short and nothing more than me venting. Most of the time I’m going to shoot for something in between. Both a problem and a solution. I hope you all will be happy with the new direction of the blog. Of course I want to hear your comments about it either way.

In Loving Memory

“Maz”

June 10,1964 – January 2,2010

Footprints In The Sand

One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

“Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I’m aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don’t understand why, when I need You most, You leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.”

Margaret Fishback Powers, 1964

Despite (or maybe in part because) my birthday being in July this was not a good month for me. First of all my oldest son has to go to summer school which, in my school district, costs $300 that my husband and I really didn’t have. While I understand the supposed reasons behind charging for summer school, I think it damages the ideal of equal education for all through the public school system.

Next I severely sprained my back and the muscle pinched my sciatic nerve which sent shooting pains down the front of my legs. And sprains take a long time to heal. Essentially I was on bed rest for two weeks and then able to only drive short distances or sit for short periods of time. Oh, and I had to sleep on my couch.

Finally it has rained at least three days for every one of sun. So my poor five-year old has major cabin fever. The rest of my family just has the rainy day grumpies.

Hopefully next month, August, will be better. We have a lot of exciting things planned including a day trip to the Museum of Natural History in New York. Here on Living My Big Dream we’ll be talking about how different the world and the people in it are today from years – even decades – ago.

In my opinion, Internet Marketing is one of the best careers available to college non-graduates like myself. The hours are flexible, the work fairly easy and offers the chance to learn about different niches every week.

I love learning new things and passing on that information to others. Unfortunately this enthusiasm sometimes leads to spreading myself too thin over several projects. Internet marketing isn’t all that difficult to learn or do but it does involve several steps that should be followed precisely. There is also selling, promoting, writing and maintaining to be done.

To sum up – building a niche site is time consuming. And if you attempt to work on too many at a time, it is possible to spread yourself too thin and end up overwhelmed and overstressed.

To avoid “niche burnout”, don’t multitask and don’t put too much on your plate at one time. Stick to one niche site until it is finished before starting another. If you’re running authority sites and you are finding it hard to keep up with writing posts, consider turning one or more into a simple niche site instead.

Of course it will take some trial and error before you figure out what works for you. Expect to change your overall business model several times. Remember it is the willow that is willing to bend that makes it through the storm.

This month I have my birthday which also marks the anniversary of my financial freedom goal. Two years down and one more to go.

For those of you who weren’t with me when I started, my goals are:

1. Be free of all unsecured debt – I’ve actually come pretty far with this and I’m fairly certain that I’ll be able to pay the rest off by next year or sooner.
2. Earn $1,000 more a month than needed for living expenses – This one isn’t going as well. The economy hit my husband’s jobs hard and he lost hours at both. Although my Internet Marketing business is making more money than ever, our expenses (such as property taxes and mortgage) have gone up. I’m in the process of opening a ”mother’s helper” service in the hopes of making extra money.
3. Have a savings, retirement and investment accounts – Well, technically I have all three. They just don’t have any money in them. Good thing I have a year to work on it.

It’s going to take hard work to achieve everything I want to. I hadn’t counted on the recession hitting as hard as it did. But I know that if anyone can do it, my family and I can do it.

While I don’t advocate watching too much television, there are a few shows I try to never miss even if it means recording them. At the very top of my favorite program list is House starring Hugh Laurie as the witty and damaged Dr. Gregory House.

So why is House my number one when there are so many shows out there? Let’s start with the characters and a little about what makes them special.

Dr. Greg House (Hugh Laurie): The main character and head of the department of diagnostic medicine at Princeton Plainsfield Teaching Hospital. Forget everything you’ve heard about characters who break all the rules – House would make them shake in their boots. The really scary part is that the rules he breaks were meant to save people’s lives. This is balanced only by the fact that he’ll do anything for his patients and he cares are much as he desperately tries to hide that he does. Every episode reveals a little more insight into the wounded psyche of Greg House.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein): Plays the Dean of Medicine in the hospital. She is very proud of her career success but has a typically messed-up personal life. The big points to know here are that Cuddy and House slept together once years earlier and House still has a thing for her that he hides beneath inappropriate conduct. Cuddy has a list of reasons to fire House a mile long but she doesn’t. She says it’s because he’s a valuable asset to the hospital but everyone knows it’s because she also still has a thing for House.

Dr. James Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard): Dr. Wilson is an unique character in that he is the only person on the show that chooses to hang around with House. Cuddy is his boss, and the other characters are his employees or his patients and their families. But Wilson is actually his friend.

Dr. Eric Foreman (Omar Epps): Dr. Foreman is one of House’s fellows. Basically he’s one of three employees who are verbally abused by House on a regular basis. The reason he puts up with it is to learn from the world famous Dr. House. Despite House’s flaws as a human being, he is a very good doctor and teacher. Foreman was hired by House because his past as a car thief appealed to House. However, his street smarts are nothing compared to his medical aptitude.

Dr Robert Chase (Jesse Spencer): Chase is also an employee of House. He has worked for House longer than the other fellows. Chase is something of an opportunist and will do just about anything to avoid being fired. Also of note are his feelings for Dr. Cameron who unfortunately harbors feelings for Dr. House. This love triangle adds a bit of spice to the show, not that it needed it.

Dr. Allison Cameron (Jennifer Morrison): Caring, compassionate and altruistic, Cameron has a soft spot in her heart for everyone – including House. Unlike the other two fellows, Cameron’s past is kept well hidden. All you ever find out is that she was married to a man who died from cancer. Despite her kindness, Dr. Cameron has a practical and science-based belief system. While she doesn’t believe in God she has an almost unwavering faith in Dr. House.

Well those are the main players in the first and best three seasons of the series. The interactions between characters are frequently funny and always brilliant while the medical mysteries that House’s team work to solve are compelling. If you haven’t seen the show yet you should at least give it a try. I, for one, hope that it’s around for a long, long time.

Well, better late than never should be the topic of this month. Unfortunately I’ve been out of commission since July 3rd. Somehow I sprained my back and the inflamed muscle put pressure on my sciatic nerve causing quite a bit of pain. In fact there were two days I couldn’t even get out of bed. In any case that is why I’m only going to be able to start posting today.

I hope everyone enjoyed the fourth of July, especially if it was also your independence day. We stayed home on the fourth but went to a family cookout on the fifth. By that day my back was killing me so I couldn’t participate in any of the activities but I still had a great time. My daughter revealed an aptitude for soccer. Luckily there is an under-six league that we can sign her up for this month. Looks like I’m going to be a soccer mom.

This month was supposed to be about being an Internet Marketer but I’m also going to start throwing my personal posts back into the mix. I want to inform but I also want to entertain and connect with my readers. I want to know the people leaving comments and signing up for my newsletter. Summer is a time to let loose a little and release your creativity, isn’t it?

This month we talked about chaos in the home, family, mind, and career. Today’s lives are hectic – overscheduled and overwhelming. I hope some of my ideas and advice help bring a little peace and serenity into your soul.

Next month we’ll get back on the career track with tips on being a successful Internet marketer. We’ll discuss how to get started, what type of setup you’ll need and, most important, how to rise to the top of the Internet marketing game.

Summer started this month (here in the U.S.) and I hope you are all enjoying a relaxing season. Don’t forget to try and schedule time for a vacation (or staycation), forget about work, and kick back for awhile.

1. Routines – Nothing calms the storm better that sticking to a well thought out routine.
2. Take a Timeout – Take 15 minutes for yourself and unwind. Have a cup of herbal tea or a glass of water. The calmer you are the better you’ll be able to handle anything that comes your way.
3. Aromatherapy – Light some soothing scented candles to help calm the atmosphere and the spirit. Try lavender, peppermint, or vanilla.
4. The number 10 – Count to it whenever you start to feel as if one of those many balls in the air starts to fall. Also helpful when your fuse is short and you’re about to explode.
5. Delegate – Ask for help and pass of tasks that can easily be done by someone else.
6. Write it down- Avoid the stress of forgotten appointments and trying to remember everything. Buy a planner or a calendar and write it down instead.
7. De-clutter – Lets face it clutter causes chaos. Get rid of anything you don’t “know to be useful or believe to be beautiful” as William Morris said. Then feel the peace fall over your house.
8. Soft music- Key word is soft. Blaring Aerosmith isn’t going to calm anyone down. Neither will the Wiggles greatest hits. Just pick something that is pretty and will sort of melt into the background.
9. Don’t procrastinate – Putting things off add stress to your life while undone tasks add chaos to your home.
10. Don’t sweat the small stuff – Don’t let the little upsets in life bother you. I promise you, it’s not the end of the world.
11. Be imperfect – Set your standards a bit lower. If the dishes don’t get washed until tomorrow morning, if a bed doesn’t get made or the lawn doesn’t get mowed, the earth will continue to revolve around the sun.
12. Don’t multitask – You may think you’re being efficient but what you’re really doing is trying to take a shortcut. Give your full attention to whatever you’re doing – especially when parenting.
13. Have a vision – Keep a picture in your mind of what direction you want your career, family, health, etc to go. Keep that picture of what your ideal life is. Have goals and work towards them.